You Owe Everyone Love, But You Don’t Owe Them Access
(Heard this quote from Pastor Philip Anthony Mitchell, and it stuck with me.)
Let’s break this down, because it’s deep, and it’s needed. The Bible says in Romans 13:8, “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” That means we are commanded, commanded to love. Not to be friends with everyone. Not to trust everyone. Not to keep toxic people in our lives. But to love.
And love doesn’t always mean proximity.
It doesn’t always mean access.
It doesn’t always mean answering the call.
It doesn’t always mean going back to the same fire you were burned in, just to prove you’re a good person.
You can love someone from a distance.
You can forgive them and still block them.
You can wish them well and still move on.
You can have a clean heart and still have clear boundaries.
Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season, maybe even just a lesson. That doesn’t make you hateful for stepping away. That makes you wise. You’re not cold hearted. You’re just done handing out VIP passes to people who only show up to wreck the place.
And here’s the hard part, sometimes the ones you need to pull back from are family.
Or people you grew up with. Or folks who wear the right church clothes but carry the wrong spirit. And you’ll feel guilty, because you were raised to believe that “love” means tolerance without limits. But Jesus never taught that. He loved the crowds, but He didn’t let the crowds dictate His peace. He loved Peter, but still called him Satan when necessary. He forgave Judas, but didn’t stop him from walking out the door.
Love doesn’t mean a lack of discernment.
It doesn’t mean you let bitterness stay in your space just because it’s dressed up as “loyalty.” And it doesn’t mean you keep being someone’s emotional punching bag just because they share your last name or used to sit beside you at church.
Boundaries don’t make you mean. They make you healthy. And there’s a difference between a heart full of grace and a door with no lock.
So yes, you owe everyone love. That’s Christlike. But you do not owe everyone access. That’s wisdom. Because love is a fruit of the Spirit. But access? That’s a privilege. And not everyone respects it when they have it.
Guard your peace. Protect your purpose.
And love people well…even if it’s from the other side of a closed door.