A pastor should be someone you can trust. Not just to preach a good message on Sunday or lead a powerful prayer, but to live with integrity, walk in truth, and lead by example. You should be able to trust them with your heart, your questions, and yes, even your family. A true shepherd carries the weight of people’s lives with deep responsibility and care.
Pastors are called to be trustworthy. They are called to be people of integrity, people whose words match their actions. You should be able to believe what they say. You should be able to watch their life and see consistency, humility, and growth. You should be able to lean on them during hard seasons and feel safe bringing your children into the fold of the church they lead. That’s not asking too much, it’s the bare minimum of what ministry leadership should look like.
But here’s the thing… as much as you should be able to trust them, you’re not supposed to put your hope in them.
When you put your hope in a person, they begin to take a place in your heart that only God belongs in. That’s when they stop being just a pastor and start becoming your god, your source, your security, your foundation. And here’s the hard truth: God will not compete for that place in your heart. If a person becomes your idol, no matter how gifted or well-meaning they may be, God will tear that idol down. Not out of cruelty, but because He loves you too much to let anyone else take His place.
There are some leaders who want to be your hope. They thrive off your dependence. They want to be the only voice you listen to, the only one who can “hear from God” for you, the only one you turn to for answers. That’s not leadership, that’s control. That’s not shepherding, that’s manipulation.
You need a pastor who doesn’t want to be your god. You need a pastor who doesn’t want your worship, your dependency, or your blind loyalty. You need a pastor who’s more committed to pointing you to Jesus than pointing you to them. Someone who is actively trying to build you up, not build a platform for themselves.
A true pastor will teach you how to hear from God for yourself. They’ll lead you toward maturity, not dependency. They won’t be afraid to remind you: you don’t need a man to get to God. Jesus tore the veil, and no human being can ever stand in the place that only He was meant to fill.
So yes, trust your pastor. Honor them. Pray for them. But don’t worship them. Don’t place your eternal hope in a person who is still human. Let them point you to the One who will never fail you, never leave you, and never have to be replaced.
Find a pastor who helps you walk so closely with God that one day, you realize you don’t lean on a man anymore, you lean on the Father.
That’s the goal. That’s the kind of leadership we need.
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