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The Past Doesn’t Define You
I don’t even know how to explain all that I’ve been through. I’ve walked through fire that left me scarred in ways that no one could ever see. I’ve smiled through pain just to survive the day. I’ve been in rooms full of people and felt completely alone. I’ve lied and said I’m okay more than I’d care to admit. Behind closed doors, I’ve cried out to God with nothing but brokenness in my hands. I was left wondering if He was even still listening.
I’ve done things I wish I could undo. Seen things I wish I could unsee. Said things in anger, in pain, out of fear. Many things that still echo in my mind, reminding me of who I was when I was just trying to hold myself together.
I’ve been brought to my knees more than once. And not in worship, but in utter defeat. With absolute regret. Also with complete exhaustion. I’ve looked in the mirror and barely recognized the person staring back. I’ve asked God to just let it end. Just let the pain stop. But he had different plans, because I’m still here. And that’s not just a sentence, it’s a miracle.
The devil came for me hard. First, he tried to destroy my mind when he came at me and caused me anxiety, and the shame. Most of all, the constant voices telling me I wasn’t enough. Then he came for my body, with sickness, fatigue, and chronic pain that doesn’t stop. When that wasn’t enough, he came for both, hoping I’d finally break.
What the enemy didn’t know is that God had already put something in me that couldn’t be killed. He put a purpose. He gave me a calling. He gave me a reason to rise again. Even when I had no strength of my own. I’m here for such a time as this.
I’m not who I used to be. I’m also not who I’m going to be. But I am here, wiser, stronger, and more aware of the fight I’m in. I’m also more confident in the God who’s kept me through it all. I’m not done. I’m not out. I refuse to let the darkness that tried to take me out win.
You can’t kill what God planted. You can’t silence what He raised up for this generation. I may be bruised, but I am not broken. I may carry around scars physically and emotionally, but they are the proof that I survived. That I overcame because the grace of God.
For anyone that is reading this who’s barely holding on, hear me when I say this, You are not alone, And this isn’t the end. God’s not done with you either. This is just the beginning.
4 min read
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Flavor Of The Month
could never be the flavor of the month, per se. I don’t bend to trends or follow the fray.
I don’t play nice in pre approved boxes,
don’t march in line or mirror your optics.I don’t match the beat of the world’s drum. I got my own rhythm, my own hum. It ain’t always smooth, but it’s real. It’s mine. And that alone makes it a threat in your design.
See, I can be controversial, not because I scream. But because I sit silent, and still don’t agree. Because I smile in storms and walk through fires. With unbothered steps and unshaken desires.
You call my peace a violent opposition. Because I won’t play the role you wrote in your vision. You want a reaction, a spark,
a show, but I give you calm, and you don’t know where to go.You see, your system’s built on control,
on scripts, on fear. But I tore out the page
and made it clear. I don’t fit in your frame,
I’m the break in your mold. The glitch in your matrix, the truth you were told to ignore,
to shame, to silence with style. But I speak with my presence and I walk every mile.So no, I could never be your flavor of the month. I’m not sweet enough to swallow,
not safe enough to stunt. I’m bitter truth,
and holy rage. I’m freedom unfiltered, off the stage.
4 min read
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Your Calling
Sometimes we think the gifts God gave us are for us. We feel like our calling should lift us up. That our talent should carry us. That it is for our benefit. That even our light should make us feel better. It should lift us up, bring us joy, open doors for us. But here’s the hard truth that nobody wants to accept; your gift wasn’t just given to bless you. It was given to bless others.
That’s why you can be sitting in the middle of your own storm. You can be full of anxiety, live with chronic pain, have all kinds of confusion, and still pour encouragement into someone else. That’s why you can be battling depression, but speak life into someone that is about to give up. That’s why you can feel completely overlooked, and still show up and support someone else’s success like it was yours.
You might feel empty, but your gift still flows.
You might feel broken, but your purpose still speaks out. You might feel like you’re the one who needs healing, but your words help heal others. That’s not by coincidence. That’s by purpose.You may wonder Why would God let me feel like this if I’m supposed to help others? And the answer is simple. It is because He can still use you, even in the midst of your struggle. Especially when you are in the midst of your struggle. That’s how powerful His gift for you is. It’s not tied to your emotions. It’s tied to His calling.
You can be tired, and still speak energy into someone else. You can be unsure of your own future, and still help someone find direction. You can be fighting silent battles, and still be the loudest cheerleader in someone’s life. It’s humbling. But it’s also holy.
Don’t mistake your pain as a sign that you’re not being used. Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes God shines through the cracks in our lives because that’s when we can be most effective when we aren’t fighting back against him.
If you feel like your gift isn’t helping you right now, just keep going. It’s working through you to reach the people who need it. That’s how you know it’s from God. Because even when you’re down, it still lifts others. Stay faithful. Keep giving. You’re being used in ways you can’t even see yet.
4 min read
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Hoarding Grace
If God’s grace is freely given, then why do we act like we have the authority to limit what we offer to others? Why do we hold back grace from people just because they don’t meet our unspoken standards? Why do we feel justified in hoarding something that we didn’t even earn or meant to keep to ourselves in the first place?
Grace found us when we were at our lowest, not when we figured everything out. It met us in secret sin, in silent struggles, in shame we carried quietly and privately. God didn’t wait until we healed or fixed ourselves to pour it out. He didn’t say, I’ll love you after you get it together. He loved us while we were still a broken mess.
Why are we so quickly to forget that when it’s our turn to give it? Honestly, we like the feeling of having the upper hand. It feels powerful to say that you hurt me, and now you have to earn my forgiveness. It feels safe to withhold grace, to guard ourselves, to protect our pride, to keep record. We dress it up as boundaries or discernment, but sometimes it’s just bitterness. Sometimes it’s control.
Sometimes it’s a wound we’ve nurtured so long, that we forgot what freedom really feels like.But Jesus didn’t hoard grace, even when He had every right to. He didn’t hoard it from the ones who betrayed Him, denied Him, abandoned Him. He didn’t withhold it from the people who mocked Him as He bled.
He said, Father, forgive them, not after they repented or asked for forgiveness, but while they were still treating him like he was nothing.That’s grace. Undeserved. Uncomfortable. Unfair. And yet, completely free. So who are we to measure grace with teaspoons when God pours it out as rivers?
We say we want to be like Jesus, but Jesus didn’t wait until people changed to offer grace. He gave it, and the grace itself became the thing that changed them.
We’re not called to be reservoirs of grace.
We’re called to be rivers, letting it flow through us. This means even when it’s hard. It also means even when it hurts, especially when it costs us our pride.Grace is not ours to withhold. It was never meant to stop with us. It’s a gift we pass on, not a reward we hand out. Freely we’ve received and freely we must give.
4 min read
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Who Is Qualified To Judge
At what point do you feel like you’re qualified to look down on someone else because of their past? I mean seriously, when do we cross that invisible line to where we suddenly feel authorized to judge who’s worthy and who’s not? Who gets to serve God and who doesn’t? Who gets to sing on the praise team, who gets to teach, who gets to minister—based on what we think we know about someone else or their past?
Let me be as real as possible, we all need God’s grace every single second. Not one of us walks this life without it. Not one of us has earned it. Not one of us deserves it. Not one of us is better than the next. We’re all level at the foot of the cross. No VIP section. No spiritual hierarchy. No cleaner testimony. Just broken people being held together by grace and mercy.
Who do we think that we are to say what someone else can or cannot do for God?
Oh, you shouldn’t be on the praise team because you did this. You shouldn’t be ministering to them because you went through that. You shouldn’t be teaching this class because of what you used to be.
Really though? Since when has God taken our opinions into account when He calls someone?
Do me a favor, Ask yourself, who am I that He is mindful of me? Think about that for a second. That a perfect, holy, righteous God would look down at you, with all your flaws, all your baggage, all your wrong turns, and still choose to love you, use you, and walk with you.
Now don’t you even forget that if He is mindful of you, then He is mindful of that person as well. The same grace that covers you is extended to the person you’re looking down on. The same mercy that picked you up is reaching for them too.
We’ve got to stop playing spiritual referee, blowing the whistle on people’s callings just because we remember their fouls. You don’t know what God is doing in someone’s heart. You don’t know the conversations He’s having with them in secret. You don’t know the healing, the restoration, the transformation that’s happening behind the scenes.
So stop looking down on people. Get humble, and start looking up at people. See them the way Jesus sees them. See the potential, the purpose, the calling. Stop being the voice of shame, and start being a voice of grace. Remind people who they can be, not just who they used to be.
Because at the end of the day, none of us are qualified without Him. It’s grace that qualifies us all.
4 min read
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Satan Needs Division
Satan Loves Division, Because He Knows the Power of Unity. One of Satan’s greatest objectives is division, and it’s not by accident, it’s calculated. Satan loves to divide families, churches, and nations. Why? Because the devil knows what will happen if we come together in one accord.
Genesis 11:6, The Lord said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.’”
NOTHING is the key word in that passage. God acknowledged that when people are unified, there’s no limit to what they can accomplish. Even when their motives were misguided, their unity carried power. And because of that, God had to intervene and scatter them. Only because their hearts weren’t aligned with His will.
Now think about that.
If unity outside of God’s will was that powerful, imagine what could happen when God’s people are united WITHIN His will. Imagine the revival, the breakthrough, the transformation. Satan doesn’t want that. That’s why he thrives off of confusion, jealousy, pride, gossip, hate, lust, division, etc… He sows seeds of strife and discord because he’s petrified of what we can become if we truly walk in unity together.
He knows that a house divided against itself cannot stand: Mark 3:25. He knows that two are better than one: Ecclesiastes 4:9. He knows that where two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name, God is in the midst: Matthew 18:20.
So naturally, he’s working overtime to keep us fighting with each other instead of fighting against him.
He’ll use tiny misunderstandings, personal offense, theological debates, or cultural differences to divide. He will find anything to keep us from locking arms in love, truth, and purpose, and unity.
But now, we have to wise up. We are not each other’s enemy. The real war is one that’s spiritual, not flesh and blood: Ephesians 6:12. Unity doesn’t mean we always agree on every detail, but it does mean we start moving in the same direction, under the same Spirit, with one mission: to love God, love people, and make disciples of all.
Why do we give Satan the satisfaction of seeing us divided? Let’s break down the walls, forgive, reconcile, and walk in love. Because when we stand together, hell is terrified.
4 min read
