American funerals have always felt off to me. There’s something almost rehearsed about them, something that seems more about making people feel good than about truly reckoning with death and what it means. The biggest issue? The universal fast pass to heaven.
I’ve never been to a funeral where the deceased wasn’t declared to be in heaven. No matter who they were, what kind of life they lived, or even how they died, they always seem to get a glowing eulogy, complete with assurances that they’re now “in a better place.” But let’s be honest, does that really make sense?
If you believe in heaven and hell, then logically, some people are not making it to heaven. Yet, in American culture, we gloss over this entirely. We tell ourselves comforting lies instead of facing hard truths. If someone lived a cruel, selfish, or destructive life, why do we pretend otherwise when they die? And if their actions had real consequences in life, should we really be washing all of that away with a few feel-good words once they’re gone?
Of course, this isn’t to say that funerals should be about dragging the deceased through the mud. But at the very least, they should be honest. Instead of false comfort, we should take funerals as moments of real reflection, on who the person was, on the impact they had, and on what we can learn from their life.
American funerals feel more like performances than genuine acts of remembrance. We sanitize death, wrap it up in soft words, and avoid dealing with the real emotions and consequences of a life lived. But we don’t need more empty comfort, we need more honesty. Because if we can’t face death truthfully, how can we ever truly face life?
Leave a Reply